Stigma Surrounding Failures
Failure often carries a negative stigma. Most people avoid it like the plague. And to be honest, nobody enjoys failure. In fact, the only thing worse than failing is experiencing a series of failures. Rack up enough failures in a short period of time and most people are convinced to quit trying in the first place.
But the truth is, no one is tracking your failures. The people around you, whether they are colleagues, investors, or peers, have their own set of challenges to face on their journey, so they aren’t focused on yours. Think about it. Nobody in the world has enough time to keep track of all the failures you experience over the course of a week, a month, or a year. Close friends and family might notice you fail at something occasionally but they can’t possibly know exactly how many times you have failed. The end result? You are the only person tracking your failures. Consequently, you are the sole person responsible for all your failures.
Consider Jordan, a popular jock yet diligent high school student. He applied to 10 different elite universities across the nation and only got accepted to one. From his perspective, he failed nine times and only got accepted to one. But from the perspective of his classmates, all they can think about is how cliché it is that Jordan got accepted to Stanford. Only Jordan himself could possibly track his failures.
Or consider the Magna cum laude college graduate who interviews with 10 different companies and only gets an offer from one. From their point of view, they failed nine of the interviews and only got an offer from one. But from the perspective of outsiders all they know is that the college grad got an offer from an elite company.
No One Actually Cares
So what does this mean? It means that no one on earth is aware of all the failures you have experienced (nor do they probably care to know). So if you feel like you are a quote unquote failure just know that you are solely responsible for giving yourself that label. Despite how many setbacks you have experienced, you are not a failure until you have decided to call yourself one. Nobody else can label you as a failure.
So to the employee who has asked for a raise at his past three jobs and been denied all three times – ask for a raise at your current job. Your current manager isn’t aware of your past unsuccessful attempts at getting a raise.
To the college grad who has been denied by 10 different companies – apply at yet another company. They aren’t aware of all the times you have been denied.
To the single guy that has been turned down by 5 girls in a row – ask another one out. She isn’t aware of the other girls that have turned you down.
In every sphere of life, setbacks are inevitable. The only difference lies in whether you allow those setbacks to define your narrative. Instead of seeing failure as a stopping point or reflection of self, view it as a building block. See these instances as lessons that bring you closer to both your personal and professional goals. Every new attempt, whether it’s a financial investment, a job application, or a new friendship, is a chance to turn things around and move closer to success.
How Does This Apply to Wealth?
Aside from lottery winners and gamblers, no one becomes rich overnight. And those that do, often end up with less money than they started with in the first place. Instead, becoming wealthy is a slow but steady process, and each failure you experience along the way will supply you with the wisdom to succeed in the future. So this is a reminder to keep this mental framework in mind – you are not defined by your failures, and success should be defined beyond money.
And as you are the sole person responsible for your failures, you are also the sole person responsible for your success. So try, try, and try again. It’s very likely that you will fail, fail, and fail again. But be kind to yourself. As long as you stay persistent and focus on your personal growth, you will find success in your future endeavors. Best of luck.